One of the images that I like the most when describing the relationship between man and his Creator is the image of the sea illustrated by the Jesuit Thomas Green (1). In it, Green uses the metaphor of the sea for the image of God. Man can do two things when he finds himself in the middle of the sea: either swim, using all his strength until his arms tire to find solid ground, or float, leaving himself to the waves of the sea until he arrives wherever the sea takes him. Of course, the idea, from the rational perspective, is ultimately irrational. Our survival instinct tells us that we have to swim, make an effort, look for where we can step on land. But, the spiritual life robs us of this mania of control, it demands an active passivity from us.
This image is what came to my mind after reading two articles about two women of the 20th century whose contributions to spirituality in modernity (or postmodernity if you want) have been very enriching and must be (re)discovered. The first article is by Manuel Reyes Mate on the figure of Etty Hillesum and her mysticism at the time of God's “eclipse”, of his apparent absence (2). The second is about the figure of Simone Weil and her concept of attention whose zenith is prayer, written by María del Sol Romano (3).
In front of suffering, where is God?
Etty Hillesum's figure is very striking to me. It is the first time that I have read something that about her and her spiritual experience, although I have already heard her name, since our publishing house has recently published a book about her and I worked with the publicity of said book (4). But, it's the first time I've really read about her and it caught my attention.
The problem of the apparent absence of God has been at the heart of the reflections of many thinkers of Jewish origin who have experienced the horror of the Shoah: Emmanuel Levinas, Hannah Arendt, Edith Stein... and for me their philosophical and theological reflections that have developed from their experience in the face of the ugliness of Nazi extremism are full of wisdom and depth. Etty Hillesum, then, is part of this litany of names that deeply marked the human reflection of the last century.
Reading her quotes, one may think that hers is a passive resignation, total defeatism. But, it must be borne in mind that for Hillesum there is a pearl in suffering. “Western man does not accept suffering as something that belongs to life. And that is why he will never be able to draw positive forces from him" (5). And this is very important in man's relationship with his Creator. The Bible is full of stories of suffering, even the redemption that the Father wanted was accomplished through the suffering of his Son.
What's at stake is our idea of God, our image of him. With God's apparent silence in the face of the brutality that his chosen people have suffered, one has the right and indeed must ask, almost protesting and shouting, "where are you?". The question is no longer whether God exists or not, but why has he allowed such brutality to pass, why does the innocent have to suffer, why do so many people, even children, have to be modern Job. To safeguard the goodness of God, many have rejected his omnipotence and thus reconcile the existence of evil with that of God. Even Reyes is favorable to it. But it seems to me that this also falls into rationalism, as does the Augustinian attempt to safeguard God from guilt, pointing to freedom as the cause of evil.
However, I agree that after the Shoa, the image of God has already changed, or at least it should be. The image of a judging God, at the height of an ivory tower, no longer matches the experience of today's man. His death announced by the madman of Nietzsche's Zarathustra has already arrived. But, it is a death of the image not of Divinity. Again, he quotes Hillesum:
"If God stops helping me, I will have to be the one to help him... it is not you who can help us but we can help you and by doing this, we help ourselves." (6)
It seems contradictory. Isn't it God who should help us? If we help him, then what is God for? God suffers with us, suffers with us, not because he is weak but because that is what he truly is. God is giving. A song says that Jesus is not a substantive or name but a verb (In Spanish: "Jesús no es un substantivo; es un verbo"). This verb is to give. And with the death of the old image of God, the God of infantile humanity, we need to conceive a new image: a God who is a Father, not of children, but of responsible adults. Our relationship with him should not remain in asking and receiving, but should result in visible fruits: responsibility. "By their fruits you will know them" (Mt 7,15).
Attention and prayer
The other figure we have is that of Simone Weil. She is well known, especially in the field of educational philosophy. However, her contribution to spirituality is also curious, specifically in prayer, closely linked to her philosophy of education. The key concept here is attention.
It is very interesting how Weil connects something as mundane as studies - not even a specifically religious or theological study but even as profane as mathematics or physical sciences, that is, the very act of studying, whatever may be the object of the study - to prayer. For Weil, “attention, in its highest degree, is the same as prayer. It supposes faith and love” (7). And it is precisely in the attention that one learns in his educational formation that also forms the attention, in its highest quality, in the prayer manifested as "waiting".
Attention is not just about physical effort to concentrate on one thing, although this can be a visible manifestation of invisible attention. Well, Weil proposes that if you get tired you have to take a break because it is no longer true attention. Attention is not posing answers, but contemplating the questions. Thus,
with attention you learn, first, to empty your thoughts to get rid of inner noise, your own ghosts, distractions, to listen to reality and act accordingly. Then, one learns to watch attentively and patiently, without rushing, waiting for reality to appear and emerge like light. Looking from a distance makes it possible to differentiate what is real from what is illusory, what is in itself from what the “I” produces. Hence, attention must be "a look and not an attachment." (8)
And if we want, we can call it, in the style of Saint John of the Cross, a "loving attention", a loving gaze.
Weil also insists that attention should not be fueled by other reasons such as passing exams or having an A, but by fact itself of the love for what one studies. In our relationship with God, we can translate it as that in our prayer, our conversation with him, we must do it not for reasons (or not only for them) such as the desire to feel good, to ask for something or to feel justified, but for love to Whom we are pointed to and that's it. Thus the attitude of waiting on the part of the praying person or the pray-er.
But, this attitude of waiting is not a merely passive or resignatory attitude, "it is rather a type of 'vigilance' present in the parable of the servant who 'watches and listens' and is attentive for the moment when his master arrives to knock on the door" (9) It is not about repeating formulas as if they were magic words, although you cannot do without the word either. For the word opens the path of silence; prayer is the link between what is seen and what is not seen, between what is heard and what is not heard (10).
Synthesis
With these two women and their thoughts we can almost say that here is a new way of relating to God. But actually, it's not that new, we've just lost our sight throughout history. Well, God is not something distant with whom we only talk to make bureaucratic transactions. With Etty Hillesum, we have inaugurated a new time with a new image of God: God who suffers with us, in whose relationship with us he demands us to be responsible, to be his hands and feet in this world. With Simone Weil, we once again appreciate prayer as a dialogue, a conversation with an attentive loving gaze, waiting for the divine will and not a mere litany of requests and imaginations of the self.
Yes, in reality their contributions are not so new, since the mystics of previous centuries have already seen this truth. But, with the complications of human history, the image of God and prayer, our main means of communication with him, has been influenced by the prejudices and expectations of the times. But, perhaps this is normal, the image of God must change according to the experience of man, in the where and when of his existence, although the essence of God does not change. I don't know, but what I'm sure of is that I have to trust this sea, even though I don't know its depths, even though I'm afraid of losing control.
Perhaps God is not only the sea, but also floats with us, suffering from the fears of the insecurity of having nothing to step on along with us. It is the sea and the water that is in our wet body. Perhaps the key is not only to let myself be carried away by its waves, but to open myself up to it, to let myself be soaked to the bottom of my being, in an attentive loving gaze at the sea and the fluctuations of its waves and not in myself and my obsession with having the control. Maybe only then will I finally step on solid ground.
(1) Thomas Green is an American Jesuit who worked almost all his life in the Philippines, dedicating most of his professional/pastoral work to spiritual accompaniment and taught spirituality classes at the Ateneo de Manila University. His works include: Opening up to God and When the Well runs Dry (ST PAULS).
(2) Manuel Reyes Mate. “Etty Hillesum (1914-1943) o la mística en tiempos de eclipse de Dios”. In Maestros y Testigos, 269-287. (Valencia: Triant Humanidades, 2014).
(3) María del Sol Romano. “Simone Weil: atención y oración”. In CAURIENSIA, Vol. XI (2016) 697-712, ISSN: 1886-4945
(4) Said book is Isabel Martínez Moreno (ed.), En compañía de Etty Hillesum. Jonás tras la Alambrada (Madrid: San Pablo, 2022).
(5) Etty Hillesum cited by Reyes, 273.
(6) Reyes, 283.
(7) Simone Weil cited by Romano, 706.
(8) Romano, 702.
(9) ibid., 707.
(10) Ibid., 708.
*This article was originally a Synthesis paper for my Spiritual Theology class. The original piece was in Spanish and I am in no way assuming specialist knowledge in Spirituality nor in the thoughts and persons of Etty Hillesum and Simone Weil. Like you, I too am just another novice reading their spiritual legacies.
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